Saying No and the Law of Intention
For many years I trained other people in assertiveness and self-esteem and confidence building. At that time I had not heard of the Spiritual Laws but intuitively knew that there was a missing ingredient in my teaching. I was giving people a template of “how to change something” without the understanding of the “why”. In some situations the template worked but it was never a complete solution.
When I discovered Diana’s book “A Little Light on the Spiritual Laws” I can say I had a light bulb moment. Since then my understanding of the spiritual Laws has grown immensely and is one of my greatest passions and the key focus of my workshops and seminars.
What is important is to be able to understand the spiritual laws from a practical everyday perspective. Most people think of the Laws when the want to attract something or manifest abundance. However a better starting point is to pay attention to your life and the habits you have created which do not serve your highest purpose.
For instance saying no to someone can be the most difficult thing to do. Most people avoid it or when they do say no, it comes across as being rude or aggressive and can cause conflict or arguments.
This is why it is much easier to say yes to people even when this means that we may be sacrificing our own truth, wants or needs. So if our intention is to please or appease the other person we may justify our behaviour because it is serving the other person.
Our intention is good, so the Law of Intention will work to our advantage rather than disadvantage. Or does it? Have you ever noticed that pleasing others does not always have the desired outcome? Does the other person truly appreciate what you have done?
A great example of this is Christmas Day. I always felt that it was important to invite all my family for Xmas. It was a great deal of work and I did not enjoy it but felt I should do this for my family. My family felt obliged to come because I was making the effort and found it difficult to say NO. It was not the happiest day!
My intention was good but the Law of Intention did not create the “happy experience” I expected. When I decided to be honest with my family it was a great relief to everyone.
Think of an event where you felt obliged to say yes or do something which you did not want to do then ask yourself the following:-
- If my actions to please another person do not serve my highest purpose/goals how will the outcome serve me?
- If I stopped to ask myself what my wants and needs are in this situation and valued them enough to speak them what would happen?
Now here is another interesting insight. Often we pre-empt the other persons’ response and use this to justify our actions i.e. they won’t like it if I say no, they will get angry or be offended. Are you responsible for their response?
In spiritual law terms you are never responsible for other people’s responses (with the exception of young children). What you are responsible for is ensuring that you share your opinion/view/ideas in a way which honours both you and them.
Consider the impact of this on a global scale. If everyone honoured themselves and were true to themselves in thought deed and action what difference would there be in the world.
There would be peace, love, harmony, understanding, joy, wisdom…. The list is endless.
A simple starting point is to notice all situations where you deny or ignore your truth and therefore your own needs. Behaviour is behaviour and the Spiritual Laws do not discriminate between a small self-deception and a big one!
So what can you do to honour your needs and those of the other person? Here are some helpful steps. Small simple steps make profound differences.
- Notice your immediate reaction to the request – your body always tells you when something does not feel right
- Take the time to think about what you want and need for the situation
- Place your hands on your heart centre and visualise a beautiful pure white light of love emanating from your heart to every cell in your body
- Allow yourself to be in this space for a few moments
- Think about what you want to say to the person and visualise those words
- flowing from your mind to your throat charka
- Sense the words being enveloped in a royal blue light and flowing out through
- your vocal cords with truth integrity and wisdom
- Take your awareness back to your heart centre and listen to the other person’s
- words from this space
- Know that we are all one and in honouring your truth you also honour the
- truth and wisdom within everyone
As our intention to honour who we are becomes the focus of our thoughts deeds and words we truly make a difference to the planet. In this way the Law of Intention can truly be activated in a way which supports our highest evolution. So liberate yourself and in doing so you liberate everyone to be themselves. We can do this just by learning to say NO.